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  Nick worked my pussy, coaxing some wonderful spot inside with his fingers, and lit the fuse on another orgasm. I moaned, thrashing my head from side to side, begging incoherently for them to fuck me.

  The bed moved. Nick knelt between my thighs, crinkling a condom wrapper. Jackson swung his leg over my torso and freed my arms. I latched on to his erection as if it were my last chance to feel it.

  “I didn’t say you could touch.”

  I tried my best innocent expression but his flash of teeth told me he didn’t buy it.

  “Your belt’s gonna come in handier than I thought.” He grabbed one of the long ends of the belt tied behind my head and bound my offending wrist with it. I grabbed at the knot but Nick snagged my other arm.

  I blinked. That’s how long it took them to restrain me. My nipples peaked from their dominant touch but I didn’t want to like it.

  “You bastards! Let me go.” It came out muffled but I had another way to get the message across. I kicked at them with my spiky heels.

  “Damn, she’s a live one, Jackson. You know the feisty ones do it for me.” Nick scooped me up and lay flat on the mattress, hugging my back to his chest so I faced the ceiling. He grasped beneath my thighs and held them wide for Jackson, who stood at the foot of the bed.

  Jackson rolled on a condom and jacked his cock, watching his friend work his shaft inside me. I was wetter than I’d ever been and it was still a tight fit.

  Another orgasm built in my pelvis but deflated when Nick slid free.

  “Ye of little faith.” Nick bit my neck hard enough to leave a mark. The pain shot to my pulsating clit, ramping up my arousal.

  Jackson climbed on the bed between our legs, hugging the backs of my thighs to his abdomen. “Ever had anal, gorgeous?”

  I stiffened. Nick’s slick finger breached my anus. He added another and I sucked in a shallow breath.

  He scissored his fingers inside me, stretching my rear. I nodded stiffly.

  “Thank fuck,” Nick ground out as he fit the head of his erection to my still tight hole. He pushed in a couple inches and then withdrew. Shoved in farther but not enough.

  I watched Jackson and the arousal written on his face. He tried to hide it but his clenched jaw and twitching muscles gave it away. The curse that slipped from his mouth ratcheted up my need for them.

  Nick got to the ring of muscles inside and pushed steadily past them. I willed my muscles to relax but they violently contracted when he sank inside.

  “Your ass is so fucking hot. It’s been too long. I’m not gonna last.”

  “You’ll last, she’s got at least another couple in her.”

  I murmured nonsense around the gag. Jackson grabbed under my knees, pushing them against my chest. He bent to my pussy, working my clit with his tongue, and bit down.

  Stars shot across the insides of my eyelids as I came again. Nick used my hips, pistoning me up and down on his shaft.

  My lids flew open when Jackson nudged his cock head against my quivering bud then lined his dick up with the entrance of my pussy.

  He stared at me, filling more than my pussy as he penetrated me. There was no enter and retreat. One long thrust and they were both buried to the hilt.

  Every thought inside my head ground to a halt. Sex had always been…sex, nothing more. This was different. It awakened something inside I feared would never be confined again.

  “Watch me,” Jackson ordered.

  I couldn’t look away. Didn’t blink. Jackson pounded my tight cunt. They set a rhythm I couldn’t predict.

  Nick rubbed my clit in tight circles and my body imploded. It was like a supernova. That moment when a star is born. A tiny ember of heat exploded in my womb, creating a ball of energy. It engulfed both men. I tightened around their shuttling impalements, causing them to tighten their holds on me.

  Nick’s harsh shout filled the space surrounding us. He came, pumping erratically inside my ass. He continued to strum my clit and tweak my nipples in turn with his other hand. My orgasm didn’t ebb, it gained speed, racing up a mountain of pleasure I hadn’t known existed.

  Jackson thrust inside over and over, fucking into me until he touched my womb. I wailed as he came. His muttered curse echoed inside my head. At the top of the roller coaster we rode, I went screaming down the other side. All the tension floated free of my limbs and my bound arms collapsed, tugging at my head.

  Jackson saw too much in that instant. He saw what I’d tried to hide. The person I didn’t know how to accept. For the first time, I was thankful for the gag.

  Long moments later, they pulled free and we all groaned.

  Jackson moved me to the middle of the bed and they got me untied. They massaged my wrists with their strong hands. Seeing the indentations in my skin made me shiver.

  Nick went into the bathroom, disposed of his condom and came back with a washcloth. He cleaned my thighs and juicy slit.

  “I’ll let you two be,” Nick said. “Hope this isn’t the last time we meet.”

  He lifted my chin and kissed me. A chaste meeting of lips. He ran his nose along mine, pausing to inhale my scent, then left. Jackson hugged me tight to his chest and I wanted to purr. He touched my wrists where the restraints had been, feeling his mark on me.

  “You call to the Dom inside me like no others have. I’m going to own you.”

  I wanted to smile, which pissed me off because what self-respecting woman would enjoy that? I sat up and stared him down. “Well, you don’t own me—”

  “Not yet.” He grabbed the hair on the base of my skull and kissed me.

  Whatever I was going to say dissolved in my brain. His possessiveness curled my toes, changing my self-righteous anger to arousal. He did nothing but whet my appetite…then he was gone, sauntering deliciously naked to the bathroom.

  “We’ll discuss your training when I get back, along with your name and number.” He must have seen something on my face, because his eyebrows drew together and his erection grew. “Maybe I’ll just fuck the info out of you. Give me five minutes, gorgeous.”

  The door hadn’t fully closed before I shot off the bed as if it were awash in flames. I snatched up my coat and threw it on, thankful for the carpet that muffled the sound of my shoes, but hesitated at the bedroom door. My belt was gone.

  A heated blush crept up my cheeks. I twisted to search for the belt but came up empty-handed.

  On Jackson’s dresser lay a blue t-shirt and I reached for it, unable to stop myself. I brought it to my nose and inhaled, drawing one last part of him inside because I knew I’d never return.

  A noise from inside the bathroom made me panic and I bolted from the apartment. It sounded like a herd of elephants running down the stairs but I didn’t care.

  It wasn’t cold outside but I tightly clasped the coat around me, clutching Jackson’s shirt to my chest.

  Train me? I wasn’t a damn dog but the mere thought of being on my knees for them turned my traitorous pussy into a fountain. Normally I couldn’t even orgasm during sex but in the last hour I’d come…how many times?

  Coming like that had to be a one-time thing. Living out a fantasy during a one-night stand. I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be. He didn’t want reality. He wanted a dream. Nothing more. If I stayed, things would sour. My family would get wind of it and everything would be ruined.

  * * * * *

  Several hours later, I dreamed of them. And again the night after, and the night after…

  Days became months.

  I convinced myself the insidious ache for Jackson deep in my gut wasn’t real.

  I’d spent years trying to cram the square peg of myself into the round hole the world expected me to fit into. My fear of what-if, after my night with Jackson, renewed my efforts.

  Chapter Three

  “About damn time, Skylar Evangeline Weston.” My best friend Jenna held open the door to The Library, a private BDSM club she’d worked at for several years. “It’s been five months since you darkened the door
here.” With a mock frown, she tugged me inside, into her tight embrace. “I’ve missed you. It’s not like you to stay away so long.”

  I hugged her fiercely, relishing the comfort I’d denied myself. Of all my friends, she understood. In a twisted way it was why I’d feared coming back.

  She wore her trademark corset and leather pants, making me feel like a poseur in gray leggings, flip-flops and a sweatshirt that said “It ain’t gonna lick itself”. Thank the lord she’d known what she was getting when she told me to dress comfortably.

  The club was quiet. No guard had greeted me when I entered the property and I’d had to use Jenna’s after-hours gate code to get in. Everyone was away for the holidays except three special members she wanted to surprise for Christmas. She’d told me she had to have my help. Saying no to her hadn’t worked. I’d flown back into the country just two days prior, which hadn’t swayed her either.

  Honestly, staying away was becoming physically painful.

  I wanted to blame the confrontation with my ex for why I hadn’t come back, but it was Jackson and Nick. They’d unlocked something deep inside and that genie wouldn’t get back in the damn bottle.

  Didn’t mean I had to stop trying, so I pasted on a fake smile. “Missed you too. Sorry I’ve been such a horrible friend. I’ll make it up to you and the twins. How are they anyways?”

  “They’ve hired a new security firm. Some bigwig company, so equipment’s being upgraded and updated. New access control. Better cameras. The head honcho is supposed to come in right after the first of the year. It’s all needed but something feels weird.”

  “Wouldn’t have anything to do with Casanova, would it?” She picked on one of her coworkers at every turn because his last name was Love. She’d never admit it but she had it bad for him. “Have you given in to him yet? Why not go for a little rumble in the dungeon and get him out of your system?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Men are in general, you’ve been telling me that line for years. Whether we get any benefits along with it is up to us.”

  “He looks at me with those gray eyes and I melt inside but you know I don’t play with coworkers.” She rolled her eyes but it didn’t take much to see past the attitude. She’d been with several guys after getting her heart broken but it never went any further than sex.

  Casanova was different. She’d described him as hot, hunky and hung. All the adjectives a girl needed to have fun. It made it even stranger she hadn’t indulged. She wasn’t hassling me for details on my nasty breakup or the threesome she knew a tiny bit about already so I kept my questions to myself.

  We walked down the hall to one of the private playrooms and she picked a box up from one of the side tables.

  “Whatcha got? Something for the lucky girl?”

  “Yep.” She opened the box and took out two brand-new, beautiful wrist cuffs. They were black leather with a soft padded lining in deep red.

  “They’re beautiful.”

  “Made to my specifications. They came in a few days ago. Let’s put them on you so I can see how they look with your complexion. I had a redhead in mind when I designed them.” She loosened the buckles on the cuffs, slipping them on me one at a time.

  They were two inches wide, lightweight, and I felt wicked wearing them. Memories of the neighbors shivered through my insides.

  She attached the last buckle and I turned my wrists to see how they fit. The D-rings flashed in the lights above and a little thrill went through me. I wondered what it would be like to wear them for real.

  I went to take off the cuffs but she stilled my hand.

  “Wait.” She removed a pair of slightly wider cuffs from a second tray in the box and attached them to my ankles. They were snug and made of luxurious black leather lined with suede. “Wear them while you’re here if you don’t mind. They fit you perfectly and I want to know if they chafe or if I need to make any adjustments.”

  “They’re so pretty. I’m like a submissive in training.” I sucked in a shocked breath.

  Why did I have to use that phrase?

  She tilted her head at me and tapped her chin, raising her eyebrows. My time was up and my stomach dropped to my knees. “I’ve let you stall ’cause I love you but that’s all you get. Don’t sugarcoat it. I know the asswipe did a number on your self-esteem and I’m still planning on returning the favor by sending him a Dip-Shit-O-Gram for Valentine’s Day. A nice bitch-slap from one of the club Doms sure says I care.”

  I barked out a nervous laugh. “Oh, the spiteful webs we weave. Don’t let me stifle your creativity by any means.” We got to the playroom door but she stopped to listen to me. “That chick’s voice is on repeat in my head, asking him to come to bed. We stood there arguing about him cheating. Then she had the audacity to simper at him? Like we were taking up her precious time when they could be going at it in the dark, in the missionary position. Is it petty of me to hope her ass is two feet wide?”

  Jenna swiped her card through a reader on the wall then placed her thumb on a biometric scanner pad. It matched her thumbprint, unlatching the door. She shook her head. “Hell, no! Karma is a bitch, I tell you, and if that evil witch’s juju happens to manifest itself in a derriere the size of a Buick, who are we to question it? Feel me?”

  A genuine laugh burst free and I had to wipe my eyes. “Damn, it’s been a long time since I’ve smiled. They seriously fucked with my inner Zen.” I wandered around, not really seeing much. “It sucks to be alone at Christmas. With my family all overseas, the condo’s quiet. They asked me to fly back next week. The jet could be here in several hours if I decide to go but I’d rather be here alone than with them at the holidays. It got old…them staring at me, asking twenty questions on what happened to ‘that nice boy’. Trying to salvage it with him to make them happy didn’t get me very far. Ugh… And my paintings are atrocious. Dark, angry.” My whine might as well have been handing out business cards.

  “Pity party for one, huh? I’ve never seen you so affected by a breakup. Did you want him that much?”

  It didn’t take long to answer. “No, especially since the sex fizzled like Alka-Seltzer, with half the shelf life. But…”

  “But?” she prompted.

  “It’s the idea of having someone, you know? Someone my parents don’t hate me for. That person you can get comfortable with. A partner you could be yourself with. Spend holidays beside and enjoy your time together.” It was Christmas Eve and I was single and bitter.

  Not the best way to embody the holiday spirit.

  Ho, ho, hostile much?

  “Okay, I’ll make you a bet. If I can kick your pity party to the curb before the night is done then you owe me a day at the spa. It’ll be my Christmas miracle, ’cause damn—it sounds like I’ve got my work cut out for me. If you’re still grouchy by the stroke of midnight, I’ll put away my fairy dust and pony up a day at the spa for both of us so Franc can rub away all our sadness. Deal?”

  “Like taking candy from a baby. You’d better be ready because I want the works. I just went and had my hoo waxed yesterday and they have a new mega-massage. It lasts a hundred and twenty-five minutes. They call it the Holiday Bluesinator.”

  “You’re on.”

  * * * * *

  An hour later I asked, “Who’s going to be banged to their heart’s content tonight?”

  “A new sub actually. Two of the Doms here have been aching to introduce her into our world. They’ve been with her but not here. She’s scared, which is natural.” She pegged me with a pointed glare.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

  Several minutes of silence stretched out as we positioned a spanking bench in the middle of the floor. Stark spotlights highlighted it from above and awareness raced over my posterior. The only other furniture was a king-size bed that dominated the far wall. It went nicely with the elephant in the room, which I pictured hanging from shackles in the ceiling. When in Rome…

  What would it be like to be totally helpless? Co
mpletely at the mercy of a man you trusted to bring you pleasure? Two men…one blond, one nearly black—

  “Why didn’t you go back to them?” Jenna asked, cutting off my fantasy.

  Anyone else and I would’ve played dumb but she wouldn’t buy it. “Didn’t have the balls.”

  “But would you consider it?”

  “What? Throwing myself at their feet?”

  “No. Another ménage with two smokin’-hot guys.”

  “If it ever presented itself. But now, after the sex with those two, I compare everyone to them. If they were here right now, I’d probably get on my knees and do anything they wanted if it meant I’d get more than a self-induced meh of an orgasm tonight.” Big words for a girl who’d been a chickenshit at Jackson’s open invitation. “Honestly? I was scared.”

  “What are you talking about? The neighbors scared you?”

  “The blond one, he—”

  Jenna whipped around, her knuckles planted on her hips like an avenging dominatrix. “What did he do? If he so much as breathed wrong in your direction…”

  “No. No, Jenna, jeez. Calm down. I wasn’t physically scared of him even though he could probably bench-press a tank. He just—I don’t know.” He saw inside me. It was a bit nerve-racking from someone I’d only ever exchanged hi-how-are-yas with. Then to come like I did the night we hooked up? They’d given me everything I’d lied to myself about wanting. “Every deep, dark, depraved and utterly yummy fantasy I’d ever had stared me in the face. It was all rolled into his buff body topped with a killer smile. Oh, and those eyes? No one’s ever looked at me like that.” I shook my head. “And I fucked both of them. I did. But the blond one… It was personal with him.”

  Jenna stood quietly for a minute. Stared at me with a curious frown on her face and then her lips split into a breathtaking smile. “You like him. I mean, really like him. The infamous bachelorette may have met her match.”

  “You can be terrifying sometimes. One minute you’re ready to go castrate Hercules for me ’cause he glanced at me funny and the next minute you’re buying us embroidered towels.”