Buried Permission Page 3

  Danielle called out, “I’m gonna change, meet you back in the living room.”

  Kerrington soaked a washrag in cool water, pressing it to her throat and her temples, willing her body to get with the program.

  “You can’t have her,” she told her reflection, seeing the need to throw her promise out the window and go after what she wanted behind her eyes. “Friendship is enough. I don’t need anything else. I. Don’t. Need. It.”

  The pep talk helped and she felt better when she exited the restroom. Better morphed into a panting mass of hormones when she turned the corner into the living room.

  Danielle leaned over in front of the TV, messing with something Kerrington couldn’t give two shits about.

  Light from the sidelight beside the couch highlighted the gap between Danielle’s thighs. The only thing covering paradise were some of the sheerest pink panties Kerrington had ever seen.

  Pink.

  Her favorite color.

  Danielle stood, tossing her wavy hair over her shoulder. She flipped the TV on, turning around. Kerrington couldn’t help giving every dip and curve a once-over. The matching bra she wore lifted her breasts, offering them to her to sample and taste.

  There stood the sacrifice she’d mentioned earlier. She was utterly perfect in every soft, feminine and delicious way.

  “I heard somewhere about this movie called The Secretary. It’s supposed to be funny, and sexy. You game?”

  Kerrington slumped onto the couch, the wind in her sails disappearing at the sight of Danielle’s lovely curves barely covered. Danielle stopped in front of the couch, started the movie and then leaned over right in front of Kerrington to put the remote on the coffee table. Her panties were the tiniest bit crooked. Kerrington reached up to fix them, knowing full well all she wanted to do was move them aside to sink inside Danielle’s sweet pussy and stay there for the rest of the night.

  She made a fist instead, centering her attention on the TV screen, not allowing her focus to waver as Danielle sat down next to her.

  Danielle grabbed a Tootsie Pop from the table beside them, unwrapping it as she got comfortable. Their shoulders rubbed, as did their knees as she moved around and Kerrington almost groaned, shifting on the couch. She contemplated getting up, going back into the bathroom, wanting to take her panties off so they didn’t rub her clit anymore. The slight contact was more than she could handle with temptation incarnate sitting next to her.

  She also wanted to hump the couch and fuck her best friend until she came all over her hand, so she opted to stay statue-still instead.

  Danielle licked and sucked the candy, crunching part of it up when she got to the chewy center.

  She caught Kerrington glancing at her. “Hey, did you want one? I’ve got extras in the kitchen.”

  “Smells good,” Kerrington admitted, talking about more than just the sucker. “But I’m good. If I have any sugar this late I won’t sleep.” Not that she would anyway, being so jacked up.

  “Water?” Danielle stood, looking down at Kerrington.

  Her pussy was right at eye level. A quick glance and Kerrington could see her clit rubbing the thin panty material. Kerrington looked away, her mouth suddenly parched.

  “That’d be great.”

  “Be right back.” She bounded away, everything bouncing with her.

  In no time Danielle was back, settling against the couch again. Kerrington chugged her water, thankful to have something to do with her hands and mouth that wouldn’t get her in trouble.

  They settled in to watch the movie. Shoulder-to-shoulder, thigh-to-thigh, but it wasn’t just any movie, it was a movie about a boss dominating his secretary. It was kinky and delicious.

  The later it got, the greater the tension built between them. Kerrington opened her mouth to tell Danielle she was going to go but Danielle grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch. She laid with her head on Kerrington’s lap. The simple act of cuddling threw Kerrington for a loop. They’d been friends for so long you’d think it would have happened before but it hadn’t. She’d never experienced that with anyone before, not in a somewhat romantic setting.

  She’d had sex with a guy in college but it had been severely underwhelming. He had stereotypically fallen asleep right after he came and Kerrington had gotten changed and left. Neither made any effort to contact each other after that.

  The guy probably got what he wanted and Kerrington was uninterested in a repeat of any kind.

  Danielle shifted on the couch to get comfortable, tucking a hand beneath Kerrington’s thigh, which plumped her breasts together. The smallest edge of pink areola peeked out of the cup of her bra.

  Kerrington’s mouth watered and she told herself to get up. She repeated it over and over again.

  Instead she reached toward her cleavage, grabbing the edge of the blanket at the last second, tugging it up farther on Danielle’s arm.

  “Mmm…” Danielle sighed, snuggling into her leg a bit more. “Don’t go,” she whispered, somehow knowing Kerrington was about to make a break for it.

  Kerrington brushed hair off Danielle’s cheek, running her fingers through the rest of it. Danielle sighed, stretching her neck, welcoming her touch and Kerrington was a goner.

  That’s how they stayed for the rest of the movie, curled up together. How the movie ended Kerrington had no clue.

  Danielle drifted off at some point, while Kerrington touched her. She trusted her while she was vulnerable and Kerrington didn’t want to abuse that trust. Not ever.

  Danielle was a lesbian, had come out to Kerrington years earlier when they were still in high school. Kerrington knew she was attracted to her but Danielle’d also told her she never wanted to hide who she was, nor who she was dating.

  The attraction was there, had always been there if she were being honest with herself, but a brick wall stood in the way of what Danielle wanted and Kerrington secretly desired.

  Kerrington was so far in the closet she couldn’t even see any light through the crack under the door.

  Damn, she could really use a cigarette. She inhaled Danielle’s sweet scent, holding it inside her, releasing it slowly. Better than nicotine.

  She moved, so as not to wake her, slipping free from beneath her cheek. Danielle settled against the couch, rubbing her cheek on the fabric where Kerrington’s pussy had just been. She checked her skirt again for a wet spot, turning off the TV, and switched off all but one of the lights throughout the house.

  When she bent down beside Danielle, slipping on her shoes to leave, Danielle’s brilliant green eyes opened.

  The quietude of the moment seemed profound in some way and Kerrington held her breath. She didn’t blink, didn’t move. They just stared at each other, in the near-darkness.

  “Just once,” Danielle whispered. “Will you kiss me just once, and I’ll act like it never happened? We’ll never speak of it again.”

  Pain lanced through Kerrington’s heart as tears filled Danielle’s eyes. Before she could answer Danielle pleaded, “I’m dying inside wanting you, needing you to love me. Please. One kiss, to show me what we could be…”

  Kerrington hated knowing she caused her pain, and denying her wasn’t something she could do anymore.

  She knelt beside the couch, tilting her head, staring at the one person she wanted more than anything.

  What happened when she couldn’t act as though it never happened? How would she ever cram her feelings back in Pandora’s box after she opened it?

  For once, she didn’t care.

  She leaned in close, nose-to-nose. Danielle inhaled, cooling the air between their lips. Desire surged through Kerrington’s limbs, making her restless, but she didn’t want to mess up. If this was the only kiss they would ever share she wanted it to be perfect.

  She palmed Danielle’s cheek, staring into her eyes until the moment before their lips met.

  It was like lighting a match. A concentrated flash of energy erupted into flame. Burning so hot it glowed red and oran
ge and blue inside her.

  Kerrington moaned, finally knowing the delicious taste of Danielle’s supple mouth. She moved back, fighting to remember how to breathe, but Danielle wasn’t going to make it easy on her. Danielle ran her fingers through her hair, clutching the hair at the back of her head, bringing her mouth back to hers. Danielle bit and sucked and licked her way inside. Tasting Kerrington like only a woman could.

  She rolled onto her back on the couch and tugged Kerrington’s head with her. Kerrington grabbed on to her wrist, holding it tight as she slipped her tongue into her best friend’s mouth.

  Her taste…

  Sweet and sexy, filled with promise from the softest lips she’d ever had the privilege of licking past.

  Both of them panted, twitching closer on each kiss.

  The invitation was there.

  Kerrington knew she could stay and in no time they would be naked and climaxing together on the couch.

  But it would be tainted when they woke up.

  Kerrington knew it would change everything and she wouldn’t be any closer to opening that closet door.

  She kissed Danielle one more time, squeezing her wrist, before laying her forehead against hers.

  Danielle squeezed her hair one last time. “Thank you.”

  It was the sweetest and most heartbreaking kiss Kerrington had ever had. It was the first kiss that had ever really meant anything to her.

  Danielle didn’t say goodbye. She didn’t say anything else. Instead she rolled over, tucking her nose into the crook of the couch. Slowly, she pulled the blanket higher so she could hide, shutting the world out, Kerrington included.

  Kerrington stood, grabbed her purse and left.

  She didn’t realize tears streamed down her cheeks until she got to her car.

  She got in, covered her face with her hands, and cried.

  * * * * *

  The next morning, sitting in her office at the hospital, Kerrington picked up the phone at 8:01 a.m. and dialed Dr. Mack’s number. She’d found it online from her website. She’d been up for hours, nerves threatening to get the best of her, but she was determined to fix at least one thing about herself she didn’t like.

  The ringing in her ear jarred her each time it went off and she almost hoped no one answered.

  A deep voice filtered through the line. “Dr. Mackenzie Raith’s office. This is David, how can I help you?”

  Her heart tripped out, beating double time in her chest. “Yes, I’m ahh…my name is Kerrington and I’d like to make an appointment with Dr. Mack.”

  “So glad you called, Kerrington. Is this your first time calling?”

  “Yes. I went with…a friend of mine to her demonstration last night.”

  “Fantastic,” he chuckled. “Those are always entertaining, especially with the college crowd after they’ve had a few glasses of liquid courage.”

  Kerrington smiled, clearing her throat at the reminder of the women coming on stage for everyone to see. “I’m not gonna lie, it shocked me. We came in late and almost left because it was so packed. I’m glad we stayed.”

  “She’s amazing with what she can do. I’ve worked with her for several years and I’m still shocked with how much she can accomplish in so little time. She’s booked all of this week and the beginning of next, but that Friday’s open. What are you looking for help with? I’ll make sure you get enough time with her.”

  Danielle’s beautiful face flashed in her mind along with the mental image of her tiny panties and how silky-smooth her skin had been beneath her fingertips. The warmth of her flesh still lingered. Her lips and the fragrant scent of her body beneath hers had haunted every moment since Kerrington left her house.

  She shouldn’t have kissed her. Denying everything she wanted from her had gotten her this far. The foundation under the walls around her desire had already begun to crumble. A stiff breeze could blow them over and everything she’d promised her grandmother she’d accomplish would be destroyed.

  That wasn’t something she could live with. She just had to stay strong.

  “Kerrington, are you there?”

  Heat warmed her cheeks and she shook her head, willing her voice not to shake. She stared down at her pack of cigarettes, remembering why she’d called…sort of. “Smoking. I’d like to quit smoking.” While he flipped pages on the other end of the phone, she shook the ridiculous notion that Dr. Mack could help her with wanting her best friend out of her head.

  She couldn’t want her, couldn’t be with her or with any girl. Her grandmother’s dying wish had been for her to find a man to marry and grow old together with.

  By all that was holy, she was going to make her grandmother proud.

  “Dr. Mack is free at 3:00 p.m. a week from this Friday. Does that work for you?”

  Kerrington glanced at her calendar, having trouble focusing for a second. “Yes, that’ll work.”

  “Perfect, I’ve got you penciled in. If anything changes between then and now just give me a shout. I’ll get you moved around. One thing you need to do when you come to the appointment—make sure you don’t have any cigarettes on you. Nothing in your purse, on your person, or even stashed in your car.

  “When you leave here you won’t want them. We’ve learned that patients having access to them afterward can fall back into the habit, even if the desire isn’t there. Other than that, dress comfortably and know you’re in good hands.”

  After she hung up, Kerrington wanted to call Danielle and talk to her but she was still feeling raw after their time together.

  She decided to give Danielle some space and take some for herself.

  Everything would settle back down and things would go back to the way they were.

  They would.

  She wondered how long it would take until she believed it.

  Chapter Four

  Two days and a few shaky phone calls later, Kerrington and Danielle sat in a booth at their favorite Mexican Restaurant, Amante de la Comida. It was their weekly lunch date, which Kerrington normally loved.

  Sombreros of every hue hung on the walls between lively paintings and tapestries. The multi-colored plates and flatware accented the serape blankets draped over each table.

  The spicy aroma of tamales with queso normally sent Kerrington’s stomach into fits of gimme gimme, and the festive décor never failed to brighten Kerrington’s mood no matter what she had on her mind.

  At least it hadn’t fallen short before.

  Not even warm, salty chips or lemon iced tea could break through the wall of tension erected between the two women, who normally talked from the moment they walked in the door ’til the second they parted ways in the parking lot to get back to work.

  Both women sat in silence. The only sound between them was the scrape of a knife or fork on a plate, or the occasional, “Can you pass the salt?”

  Kerrington glanced up at Danielle for probably the hundredth time since they’d sat down and decided enough was enough.

  She’d hardly touched her food and Kerrington had a good guess why. Hers tasted pretty close to cardboard with a side of sawdust and it wasn’t the cook’s fault either. This was on her and she was going to fix it.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Danielle looked up, met her eyes, then stared at her fork again as she moved the food around some more. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

  Kerrington sat there, waiting for her to say something else but it never came. She laid her fork down, finally giving up the notion she was going to eat anything else. She focused on the problem she’d created, hoping she could set things right. “How can you say that, when you can’t even look at me?”

  Danielle took a deep breath, as if she had to steel herself for what came next, and Kerrington’s heart fluttered with trepidation. Her normally vibrant green eyes lacked their usual luster when they finally connected with Kerrington’s. The dark circles underneath couldn’t even have been missed by a blind man.

  “There’s nothing to be
sorry about,” Danielle repeated as she stared at Kerrington.

  Which one of them she tried to convince with that handful of words, Kerrington didn’t know.

  “I shouldn’t have asked for something you weren’t prepared to give. I shouldn’t have asked for it regardless knowing…” Her voice trailed off and she looked away, signaling to the waiter that they were ready for the bill.

  “Knowing what?” Kerrington prompted. “You can’t start something like that with me and think I can just ignore it.”

  Their waiter dropped off their bill and made a hasty retreat. Obviously, he knew he needed to be scarce with the vibe they were giving off.

  Danielle placed her money on the bill along with her portion of the tip.

  “Come on, we’ve always been able to tell each other anything. Everything. Please finish your thought. Say what you were going—”

  “Don’t make me say it,” Danielle begged. Kerrington blinked at how small her best friend looked across the table.

  “Say what?” Kerrington asked again, not knowing what was going on.

  “That I love you.” A whisper was too loud of a description for the words that moved past Danielle’s vocal cords.

  “But you’ve told me that lots of times. We’ve been closer than sisters for probably a decade by now. I love you too. I—”

  “No. I love you, Kerrington. Yes as a sister, but as a partner, a lover. I love you because you’re the other half of me. I’ve loved you for years and it’s killing me because now I know you feel it too.”

  Dawning realization drained the color from Kerrington’s face and she knew Danielle had felt everything in the kiss she’d tried to hide.

  “I shouldn’t have asked for it. I knew it was going to go either one of two ways. You’d say no, and I’d know I tried, or you’d say yes, and I’d never be able to forget it.”

  She closed her eyes and the ghost of a smile transformed her face but when Kerrington blinked it was gone. “I lied when I said I could go back to the way things were. I knew it was a lie but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I had to know.”